Everything Happens For a Reason. *SELF HARM is DISCUSSED!*

*** Beware! Self Harm Triggers could happen.. self harm is discussed. Please do not proceed if you are easily triggered by self harm material.***

Sally came home around 3am. She unlocked the door and gently put her forehead against the door frame as she shut and locked the door behind her. She stood there for a minute and watched tears stream down her face and could smell the strong tequila on her breath. A wad of curled up bills of money fell out of her hand onto the floor. She turned around and slammed her back up against the door sobbing like a baby as she slid herself down to the floor. She had a black pool of mascara stained tears getting larger and larger on the floor. She laid there on the floor crying until she cried herself to sleep.

The next morning sally awoke startled on the floor. How did she get home? How did she get inside? Why was she sleeping on the floor? Sally was so confused. Her head pounded. Her body felt weak and her legs were sore. She looked at her hand and between the thumb and the palm of her hand was a decent sized L shaped bubble blister. The shame came back to her.

She saw the picture of her father with the lipstick stain on it and she wiped the mark off of the photo frame. “I’m sorry.. I keep letting you down” she said. She walked into the bathroom and got into the shower. Trying to scrub away the shame, she used water so hot you’d swear it was boiling. Sally kept mumbling under her breath “It was just one time.. just one time that’s it. I’m not going back.” She stepped out of the shower and after she dried herself and wrapped the towel around her hungover and bruised body, she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. Her eyes had a different shade to them today. Her smile was saggy and her skin, a tad faded. Sally kept envisioning her father smiling at her and the way he’d throw his head back when he laughed, as if he was laughing with his entire heart. She imagined him coming towards her and she closed her eyes and let her imagination run free. He walked towards her and reached out for her hand. His mouth opened as if he were trying to say something but she couldn’t hear him. Sally pressed her eye lids together trying to force herself to hear what he was trying to say. A small tear ran down her cheek. This is the moment Sally realized that she had forgotten what her father’s voice sounded like. She slowly opened her eyes and hated the person standing in the mirror looking back at her.  He died for her freedom. He died trying to give her and her mother a life worth living. And she had failed him time and time again.

Sally couldn’t control her emotions. Her emotions were running like a wild fire through her body. She needed something to break the emotion. Something to get her mind off of her father and her failures and her shame. She opened up the medicine cabinet to look for something. She needed an aide. A sleep aid, a pill, an injection, anything she could find that would make her stop thinking. The cabinet didn’t have anything in it that satisfied her so she ran to her kitchen junk drawer. Crying in agony she pulled the entire drawer out of the cabinet and the contents fell on the floor. Inside she saw letters, pictures, and other odds and ends. There was one thing that caught her eye, a box cutter. She sat on the floor and held the box cutter in her hands for a minute. ‘Just do it.. don’t think. It will make it all go away’ she thought. She flipped the box cutter blade up 2 notches, just enough to leave a trace but not a scar. So she thought…

Sally closed her eyes and tried to remember. “Fucking remember!! Why… why cant you remember??” She yelled to her self in a panic. “COME BACK!” She screamed as she furiously gashed her left arm. “God Dammit!” she screamed as she slammed the blade into her tan skin and dragged the blade vertically on her arm, creating a slit just big enough for a blood river. Her screaming came to a halt and turned into a whisper “come back” as little droplets of blood fell to the floor next to her. Her eyes continued to cry but had a haunting glaze casting over them like she had just had a shot of morphine. “Why cant you remember?” she whimpered. “Why?”

Sally laid on the kitchen floor looking up at the ceiling. Memories of her father came back in swarms; one right after the other. She remembered her overdue bills and the money laying on the floor by the front door. It wasn’t going to be enough to cover all of the bills. Sally’s mind went insanely silent for a good while until she was startled by the doorbell ringing. “Shit!” she whispered to herself as she jumped up off of the floor leaving a trail of blood behind her. The doorbell rag again. She looked into the peep hole. Her mouth dropped open. Her eyes widened.”Get the fuck out of here!”  she whispered to herself. The door bell rang again. She ran to the kitchen and wrapped up her arm in paper towels and threw on a sweatshirt and sweatpants. Her hair was still damp from the shower. She quickly threw her hair up in a towel and ran back to the front door, her feet sliding on the wooden floor from being in such a rush. She looks in the peep hole just in time to see the person turn around and walk away. “No!… WAIT!” she yelled as she hurried unlocking the door. Sally swung the door open and yelled “wait! I’m here!” As she turned down the hall, there stood a man in a brown leather jacket with a t-shirt on and old biker boots holding a pieces of mail in his hands. He turned around to face Sally. “Paul?” she said aloud wondering if she were imagining this whole thing taking place. “Wow, Sally! Hi.. it’s.. weird right?” he said as he handed her a stack of 2 letters and a piece of junk mail. “I mean.. First I meet you out on the street and then here I am delivering mail to you that was mistakenly put in my mailbox.” he said with a smile. “I live in 208.” He pointed down the hall. “Holy shit!” she said nervously, still wondering if she was dreaming or died or what. “Uh.. I mean… wow. Hey! That’s great. I’m 218.” He raised an eyebrow at her awkward conversation and smiled because he thought it was endearing. “Hey uh… are you…….REAL?” she said leaning in whispering to him nervously. “Last time I checked… yep. What’s… going on Sally? You ok? You look startled.” Sally began to laugh. “This is crazy. This is my life!” She said slapping her hand with the mail he gave her. “You live here too?” she asked, hoping to get him to start a conversation. “I thought I’d never see you again.. It was weird the way I left.” He laughed. “Well yeah, I mean it’s weird that I’m here also with your mail. It’s almost like I don’t know, maybe we’re meant to know each other. In some way or another.. But you’re really hard to shake Ms. Sally. I thought about you for days after. You’re a mystery woman.” Sally started to blush but the pain from her arm started to kick in as she could feel the paper towel soaking up the blood. She felt a sting and looked down at her arm. “Sally? Are you ok?” She looked back at him and saw him in frames. Her mind was getting dizzy and everything around her seemed quiet and in slow motion. She stared right at Paul and he asked her again. “Sally?? Sally.. you ok??” She slowly nodded her head and fell to the floor. Her front door still slightly open from her running out into the hallway. Paul immediately rushed to her aid. He began to worry. “Sally! Sally answer me! Sally… holy shit she passed out.. Sally! Sally wake up!” He yelled as he gently tapped her cheek and got no response. He jumped up and ran into her apartment and called 911.

“911 what is your emergency?” the operator prompted. “Please, hurry.. this girl her name is Sally Torianna, I just came by her place to drop off mistaken mail and she fell to the floor. I think she passed out. She was acting really funny. I’m trying to wake her up and nothing is working. Please help!!” he said frantically. “What is the address sir?” the operator asked. “1105 Lago Lane.  She’s apartment #218. We’re just outside her apartment in the hallway. Hurry! What do I do?” He begged. “Can you check for a pulse? Do you know where to check for a beating pulse sir?” the operator asked. “Yes.. yes, yes she’s got a pulse but she’s not waking up. What do I do?” “ok, sir.. I understand. Is she bleeding from anywhere?” He checked the back of her head. “Not that I know of.. her head isn’t bleeding. No blood in her nose or ears.” He noticed blood dripping down her hand. “Oh my God! Her left hand. Yes she’s bleeding!” He started to get overwhelmed with worry. He lifted her sweatshirt arm up and saw the gash marks on her skin. “No! No! Sally NO!” He screamed into the phone “Sir, the police are on the way. Can you please tell me what’s going on so I can inform them?” His eyes welled up with tears. How could a beautiful woman like Sally hurt herself? What made her do it? How lonely does a person get? he thought. “She fucking cut herself man! oh God. This can’t be happening. Why?” The operator relayed information to the authorities and medical aid. “Sir, we’re sending an ambulance they should be there any second. Paul sat there next to her body trying to stop the blood with pressure. People in other apartments heard his screams and opened their doors to get a glimpse of what was going on. The paramedics showed up and pulled Paul away from Sally. “Please, let me stay with her.. I know her. She’s a friend, I need to be with her please!” He begged.

He went into Sally’s apartment and grabbed her keys off of the counter. As he turned towards the door he saw the calendar on the wall with the x’s on it. Paul shook his head and locked her apartment door behind him. He drove to the hospital to be with Sally and find out her condition. The hospital staff had him wait in the waiting room until they had more information on Sally’s condition. Hours later, they decided to keep her overnight to watch her and make sure she wouldn’t harm herself or anyone else. They stitched up her wounds and replaced some of the blood she lost. She was minutes away from losing her life. She was drugged up on medications to prevent her from hurting herself or others and for pain. They put her in a corner room. She was awake but groggy from medication. She had no recollection of Paul coming to her apartment. The last thing she remembered was wrapping her arm in the paper towel. Her nurse came in to check on her and as she was taking her vitals, Sally asked the nurse. “How did I get here?” the nurse responded, “well, someone found you and called 911. That’s how you got here.” Sally looked confused. “Who?” she asked. They heard a knock at the hospital room door. “I did. I found you.” Said Paul as he stood there with a bouquet of flowers and a worried look on his face. “Fuck my life” Sally said to the nurse. Paul set the flowers on the table by her bed. “Sally, you ok?” She started to cry. “How did you find me? What happened? How do you know where I live?” He kept a worried face and explained what happened. Sally was beside herself. “Please don’t say anything. I am embarrassed.” Paul asked the nurse to leave so he could have a moment with Sally. Paul walked over to her laying on the bed and whispered “I’m scared for you.” She cried, hiding her face with the palm of her hand. He moved her hand away from her face and leaned in to hug her. “I’m here for you when you need to talk. We need to talk about this. Please, I’m not sure why, but I feel like we’re supposed to know each other for some reason. If I didn’t come to your door, you’d be dead.” He started to get emotional. “Please Sally.. take care of yourself. Promise me ok? I have your keys.. my number is with the nurses outside. Have them call me when you are ready to come back to your apartment.  I have to go.” He was visually upset and it made her feel like shit seeing him upset over something she did. He turned to leave the room and looked back at Sally. “Sally..?” he asked. She could barely see through her tears.. “yeah?” she said with a shaky voice. “That calendar on your wall… Galaxy…. and the money that was on the floor by the front door.. is that related?” She dropped her head in shame “yeah.” He shook his head and walked out of the hospital room.